Monthly Archives: November 2019

Report: In Hawaii, $500K salary now considered ‘broke as a joke’

A doctor waiting in the welfare line in Honolulu, Hawaii.

HONOLULU, HI — A new report states that having a $500K salary in Hawaii will now consider you being “broke as a joke” according to spokeswoman Pua Ann Lusingum of The American Association of Fabricators.

“Five hundred thousand dollars really doesn’t get you much anymore in Hawaii”, she said, “these poor people are now broke as a joke!”

With the average rent for a studio apartment being at $3000 per month, and the minimum price for a gallon of milk at $21, the study seems to be right inline with what is happening in Hawaii.

Mayor Kirk Caldwell and Governor Ige could not be reached at this time for comment being that they are STILL battling it out in a stalemate game of Jan Ken Po.

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State Says ‘Cool’ New Wind Turbines Will Benefit All Waianae Residents

WAIANAE, OAHU, HAWAII — State officials in Hawaii released information on a new proposed wind turbine solution for not only Oahu residents, but most importantly, the people of Waianae on Oahu’s west side of the island.

32 new wind turbines will be erected behind the Makaha Towers along the Waianae Mountain Range.

“We feel the new turbines will benefit the people of the west side because it will serve as giant cooling fans, instead of damaging the land and eco-system.” Says Natu Bright, executive director of Decision Makers Hawaii. He continues, “This will also help with all their pent up frustration and stress caused by the extreme heat and humidity which is notoriously associated with Waianae. We feel it would be a ‘win-wind’ situation for everybody.”

When we caught up with Mayor Kirk Caldwell and Hawaii Governor David Ige for comment, they both responded by playing a game of Jan Ken Po to decide who was gonna answer our questions and they both lost. (Note: At the time of publishing this article, they were both still going, playing and choosing scissors the whole time.)

This all comes at the same time protests are being held against current wind turbines and outside companies trying to attempt to build more stupid windmills.

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