HONOLULU, HI — A new report states that having a $500K salary in Hawaii will now consider you being “broke as a joke” according to spokeswoman Pua Ann Lusingum of The American Association of Fabricators.
“Five hundred thousand dollars really doesn’t get you much anymore in Hawaii”, she said, “these poor people are now broke as a joke!”
With the average rent for a studio apartment being at $3000 per month, and the minimum price for a gallon of milk at $21, the study seems to be right inline with what is happening in Hawaii.
Mayor Kirk Caldwell and Governor Ige could not be reached at this time for comment being that they are STILL battling it out in a stalemate game of Jan Ken Po.
WAIANAE, OAHU, HAWAII — State officials in Hawaii released information on a new proposed wind turbine solution for not only Oahu residents, but most importantly, the people of Waianae on Oahu’s west side of the island.
“We feel the new turbines will benefit the people of the west side because it will serve as giant cooling fans, instead of damaging the land and eco-system.” Says Natu Bright, executive director of Decision Makers Hawaii. He continues, “This will also help with all their pent up frustration and stress caused by the extreme heat and humidity which is notoriously associated with Waianae. We feel it would be a ‘win-wind’ situation for everybody.”
When we caught up with Mayor Kirk Caldwell and Hawaii Governor David Ige for comment, they both responded by playing a game of Jan Ken Po to decide who was gonna answer our questions and they both lost. (Note: At the time of publishing this article, they were both still going, playing and choosing scissors the whole time.)
This all comes at the same time protests are being held against current wind turbines and outside companies trying to attempt to build more stupid windmills.
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HONOLULU — Hawaii Governor David Ige responded to a deleted tweet by President Donald Trump that went viral yesterday online.
The governor really let his pidgin language shine throughout his tweet bringing up an apparent previous encounter with Trump at a Big Island nightclub, “I not da one who had to call da cops when I was choking you out!”.
Ige’s tweet, like President Trump’s tweet was also deleted. Here is the screenshot of Ige’s response.
When we reached out to the governor’s office, the phone lines were totally busy for some reason.
WASHINGTON — President Trump had some fiery words for the Governor of Hawaii, David Ige today in response to the democrat’s handling of the situation brewing in Hawaii concerning the building of a thirty meter telescope, often refered to as TMT.
The president took to Twitter to call out the confused governor tweeting:
“If I was in Hawaii I would go up to the Mauna and stand with the Hawaiian people! David Ige showing how weak he is by not showing up! What do they need the telescopes for anyway??? They’ve been mastering the stars for CENTURIES! Hey Kermit, we can meet up and BANG anytime. Meet up at Uncle Mikey’s parking lot, if it’s still there”.
The tweet has since been deleted and Governor Ige has not responded, something he is quite known for.